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So, check it—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs. It’s old as dirt, legit ancient—think Roman bathhouses, sweaty dudes gettin’ oiled up, but sneaky-like, ‘cause it was hush-hush. Made me laugh, picturin’ Caesar goin’, “Et tu, Brutus? Rub harder!” Ha! Little known fact: Japan’s got this thing, “nuru,” seaweed slime stuff—slippery as hell, blew my mind when I heard. Tried it once, nearly slid off the damn table—Great Scott, what a rush!
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